Reconstruction Era?

Picking a name for a child is a beautiful privilege. You’d be remiss to underestimate the power of a name. Our name is our first impression. Our first identifier. A collection of sound that is made to grab our attention, to separate us whilst also being a tether to others. Your parents may toll over what to call you, or they may have known it as soon as they were made aware of your existence.

Either way, it doesn’t become yours until you cross the threshold of this planet.

But that doesn’t mean you weren’t already here.

Now before you go any further, allow me make myself clear- I’m a disorganized, imperfect, overly confident woman from south of the Mason Dixon. I don’t know it all but I claim the ability to find it all out. I love living life and I take every chance I’m granted to improve my own. I am passionate about existing, and wether it was my own brushes with death or losing loved ones to the other side, I live fully, honestly, and as close to my own beliefs until I decide its time to change them. With that being said, allow me to be imperfect and know these are simply my own thoughts and opinions. Feel free to agree, share, question, disagree, or debate- but hold on to what resonates and leave what does not. Our collective thoughts are what are the most important, not my correctness average.

Okay love, back to the original thinkpiece.

Wars typically get their name AFTER the final battle is commenced. Products go through days, weeks, years of production before landing on what the actual type on the label will say. Phenomenons exist long before the English langage manages to shift in ways where you can explain them to someone who is unfamiliar with the concept. The opportunity to bring something from obscurity to the Earth Plane is a tedious, timely, intricate process. I say all that to say- consider yourself in the Reconstruction Era.

Life is constantly expanding, growing, shifting. Your cells are constantly working, dying, reproducing. The sun is always shining and the moon is always reflecting. Creation is ALWAYS HAPPENING.

Reconstruction wasn’t from 1861-1900. That shit is happening RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

The need for you to reform a system is constant, and your ability to show up in the moment you are in is a prerequisite for you to properly identify what system it is that you should be reforming. The system may be as inconsequential as your bookshelf or closet, or as large as your family system or your nervous system. Either way, there is a pattern recognition that is special and unique to you that cannot evolve into the better and more efficient form of itself if you don’t get your hands out of your pockets and do it. Every day that your eyes blink open is an invitation for you to create, repair, restore, improve, increase, and water the things that only those beautiful eyes of yours can see.

I hope you know all the tools are readily available as soon as you decide they will be of use to you. Being God like is within your reach. Believe in your task and the work materializes from obscurity.

Now go make that shit a reality. Your future self is depending on you.

With Love,

Your Esteemed Doula DeYonna

Community or Nah?

  I think it happened when we went from "friends" to "followers". I'm not saying everything was perfect before that.. but therein lies a disconnect that you cannot deny. Language is important. Bound by words to express thoughts, ideas, and feelings, even someone with limited vocabulary understands that words hold weight; and if you are particular about the point you are attempting to get across you must use verbiage that speaks with you and for you. When social media took us from sending friend requests to requesting "follow backs" (follow for follow?) a new hierarchy was created. All of a sudden how many people "followed" you was a matter of importance.

Now before you start taking my word as law and think too critically about the thoughts and ideas I am sharing, know that I am just a high school graduate. I am a baby in this game of Life. I am a black woman in and from the United States of America and I too am flawed, learning, growing, and expanding every day. Take my opinion lightly. Integrate what resonates and stow away what you may be able to put to use later. I am a proud student of life and relationships, with a deep internal desire for the progression and safety of all. It is the light that guides me, and you are an integral part of that progression. I hope you feel free and safe to disagree, to challenge, even debate me (if you think you're up for it).

 Now, back to the original think piece.

 Remember a time when social media was truly a social place? It was FILLED with personality. It reflected your closest friends. It was like instant messenger.. but permanent. If you were smart and patient, you learned to code. That could really let your personality shine. Yes, there were always those that managed to overshare, but they were like that in real life so.. no big deal. We spent marginal amounts of time online because the internet was much slower, far less convenient, and if you were talking to strangers on the internet.. Well.. they were probably VERY strange. We pirated and shared music. Then we pirated and shared photos and music. Then we TOOK pictures and MADE music. Then video. You would think that was all progression. But ONLY if you aren't looking around you.

  The influx and overload of sharing, liking, and perfecting has made us numb to the communities in which we live. As a collective we're quite insensitive to the nuances and beautiful imperfection of being human. It's contributed to comparison culture and created a conveyor belt of "trends". It's the perfect vehicle to compare our complex and detailed lives to the highlight reel of a stranger's life. To know your neighbors is a blessing and a privilege that many are no longer offered. Yes, it is most easy to double tap a post. But are you as likely to pause your day to compliment a stranger? Do you think that is enough of a cosmic boom to change the course of their day AND yours?

 I have to say.. being on both the receiving and giving end of these types of interactions.. there are few feelings as good as acknowledgement. Being seen is being given the opportunity to take large part in a loving interaction without demand or request. I truly believe that is a large part of what our community is currently missing. In a weird time when money is funny, we should invest in what is free. Love. Support. Acceptance. Acknowledgement.

I'm not saying you have to be 'happy go lucky' and put on your Captain Save-a-Ho cape every time you leave the house. I don't expect you to always have the mental capacity or desire to interact with people out in the world. These are simply the seeds that I think if we begin to sow with intention and sincerity, could reshape the world into a place where our children, nieces, and nephews will feel safe and connected. Tribes are not some magical formations of the perfect people with perfectly suited personalities. Tribes are conglomerations, formed by people from all walks of life with distinct purpose and contributions that always default to the betterment of the people.

I think we deserve a change that is not forced upon us by outside sources. I believe we deserve change that is purposeful and beneficial. I believe we deserve change that is formed by us instead. Social Media as it has matured could be an amazing vehicle for connecting and uniting us, when used mindfully and responsibly. It is absolutely what brought us together, here and now. You'll be amazed at the changes you see in the world when you embody the change you wish to see in the world. I've seen the future. Trust me, It's bright.

  Signed,

     DeYonna. Certified Lover Girl.

Isn’t It Obvious?

We possess the most magical innate abilities. Breathing. Maintaining a sustainable heartbeat. Blood that is made rich with oxygen to provide nutrition for the support of cellular life and growth. So many of the systems that give us the ability to make it from one moment to the next are outside of our capability of control and understanding. We are literal miracles, with constant and consistent networks that keep us alive with the ability to thrive. The fact that we exist is proof enough that our genetic code has been desired and has prospered through centuries of humanity, despite all that has been stacked up against us. You are the culmination of bloodlines. There is no one like you, and there will never again be another YOU. You are special. Divinity in human form. So remind me again.. what is the obsession with what we are "supposed" to be like?

 Now, before we go any further, let me remind you I am just a baby. New to the game of life.. making mistakes.. riddled with shortcomings.. carrying my own traumas. This is not a manual for how you should be, this is simply a collection of thoughts from an unusually wise and empathetic woman from Atlanta, Ga, with a true passion for seeing my people thrive and succeed. I am sharing the thoughts that swim through my mind in hopes that they may reach someone who can utilize them to improve their life, the way that I try to use them in mine. Utilize what resonates and store what doesn't.

 Ok, back to the original think piece.

 This is about Acceptance. To accept oneself is the foundation of Love, the foundation of Truth, and the foundation for Growth. To be able to look at ourselves both literally and spiritually and acknowledge our own existence holds so much power. The fact that we are here. That we have been given autonomy over our bodies, our thoughts, our actions. To acknowledge that whatever body we have has freedom and it moves us through time and space without us even having to ask for it. You deserve to be proud, and I hope that even if it's only a short moment, you can find the space to believe that you are perfect. I promise you are. As you are. You were curated by precision. With precision. Exactly as you should be. Every moment up until this one has played a grand part in chiseling you into the supreme being that you are. You should feel comfortable loving yourself. You should feel comfortable being special. Feel comfortable accepting the fact that you are not the result of a template or blueprint. Sure, there are many that are similar, but you dear reader, are one of one.

 Acceptance is not a task that can be completed, it is a skill that must be consistently strengthened. Practice makes better, and there are many ways to grow and improve the skill of acceptance. Give yourself positive emotional boosters. Engage in positive self-talk. Encourage yourself out loud. You deserve to hear it in your own voice.

"You're doing a great job!" "That was good thinking, (Insert Your Name Here)!"

"I knew I could do it, and I DID!" "I Deserve This."

 The path to improving the relationship we have with ourselves begins with the ability to exemplify loving, accepting actions. We must actively practice loving ourselves in order to have the shelving to provide love to those around us in a way that is natural, beneficial, and perceptible by others. After all, you can only learn to dribble once you've learned to control the ball.

 I hope this inspires you. I hope you feel empowered. I hope today you are reminded of the influence that you have in this world, and that you use that influence to drive you closer to any goals that you have ever wished for yourself. Acceptance requires you to absolve yourself of any guilt or shame and know that any and everything you've experienced thus far was necessary for the person you are. Take a brief moment to fall in love with yourself for all the achievements and all the setbacks. You are your most valuable asset. Don't forget it.

 With Love,

   DeYonna. Certified Lover Girl.